Such a good read

Promises I Can Keep is easily one of the best books--fiction and nonfiction included--I’ve read this year. When I first saw it cited on a blog, my interest was piqued by the subtitle: "Why Poor Women put Motherhood before Marriage."

I instantly had to know the answer. Why do they?

Why indeed when study after study shows that having a baby when young and single impairs a woman's career prospects and earning potential. And yet many poor, unmarried women decide to have babies while in their teens or early twenties. Why do something so obviously self-defeating? To answer this question, the authors conduct in-depth interviews with single mothers from eight poor Philadelphia neighborhoods. Their research offers some very convincing answers and, in the process, they help restore the humanity of the women involved-- humanity that gets obscured when the "unwed mother” becomes a political flash point. The book quotes heavily from the interviews, so we really get to hear the women's voices and see them as individuals. And because the authors are so explicit about their research methods, the book is also a great window into how sociological research is conducted.

While I don’t want to give away all of their conclusions, I found it fascinating to read that for many of the mothers, having a baby meant having an opportunity for meaning and self-worth where other forms of meaning (professional, educational) were all but absent. Contrary to stereotype, nearly all of the mothers surveyed say they enthusiastically anticipate marrying someday. In fact, they see marriage as a sacred institution and they disdain divorce, but, for them, a wedding is the culmination of years of hard work --a picket-fenced dream that comes only after one has saved money and established a career and yes, become a parent. After all, good men are in short supply, and few can be depended on for happiness or security. Raising a child, though, gives a young woman a chance to form emotional bonds and do something that really matters.