Ever since I first read him in high school, I haven't been able to generate much passion for grumpy old Stephen Crane.

Case in point:

A man said to the universe:
"Sir, I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation." - Crane

How come the universe has to be so pedantic? I prefer mine warm and breezy, with a slight chance of showers.

It occurs to me that you could rewrite the above poem, substituting the word "google" for "the universe."

Or the words "the Bronx."

Or the words, "3:15 pm bus crowded with people on their cell phones and yelling, hormonal teenagers recently released from captivity."

Yep, I think that pretty much fits.